Welp...herpes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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