There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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