I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
