I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
