he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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