how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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