Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its about making memories worth repressing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
