plz talk dirty to me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
