Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
