Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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