His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
