then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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