So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
