I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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