i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
