At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
