AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
