if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
