We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
