After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
