community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
