found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
