Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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