Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
