Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
