This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
