the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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