he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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