I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
