my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
