I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
