I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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