I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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