My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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