I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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