I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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