Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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