oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
