This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
