Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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