There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
