note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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