You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
