Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She even gives head with a lisp.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
