i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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