so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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