you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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