stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
