i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My hand turned me down
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
