OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
