well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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